Monday, September 11, 2006


The following is copied from an entry I wrote at my other diary site on September 11, 2001. It is my reaction the day of the attack. I was 16. In some ways, it feels like yesterday. In other ways, it feels like years ago. A big part of me can't remember what the world was like BEFORE 9/11; it just feels like it's always been hanging over us as a nation. (and yes, the Adam I refer to is my current husband; it's also sad that I mention Peter Jennings, who has since passed away... my diary can be such a poignant time capsule)

My mother woke me up about 8:15 this morning saying something about a plane crashing into a building. I didn't pay her much attention, and she wasn't very persistent, so I fell back asleep. I figured I'd find out what she was talking about a little later.
I fell asleep and had weird dreams that Anna and I were at some cheap carnival and wanted to ride on a Ferris wheel. It was at Navy Pier, except there were cheap rides there... it was just strange. We went to get tickets for the Ferris wheel, and they said you needed FIVE tickets for the ride. I said it was ridiculous, especially since tickets were $5 apiece.
Then I started dreaming that we had to hurry to get on because planes were crashing everywhere and we had to evacuate. That's when my mom woke me up yelling, "They bombed the Pentagon!!"
This, of course, got me jumping out of bed and running to the TV. Of course, it wasn't bombed, it was crashed into, but what's the difference really? It's still a freaking attack. My first thought was, "They better find who fucking did this and kill them."
In a way, I really, really hope its someone from our country who did this. Simply because that way, we wouldn't have to go to war with some country. I just can't believe someone was stupid enough to do this. Do they really think they can get away with it? Nooo, they're going to die.
We watched and watched and watched. Watched the 2nd tower fall. Gasped along with everyone else on TV, heard the false reports about car bombs... and then my cell phone rang and I rushed to get it. It was Adam, and he was really freaked out. He called me back and said he had something weird to tell me, and would just walk over.
I washed my hair, brushed my teeth, and went outside with him and B. Basically, he's really afraid of dying. I really don't have a fear like that. He thinks this is the start of another depression. If he could get away, he would go to Kentucky. He said I could go with him. I don't see the need quite yet.
While we were outside on my porch, I noticed there weren't people outside. The whole time we were out there, I saw maybe 10 people. No cars. No sirens. No planes, of course. No paleta men, no loud music. One dog barking.
Normally we have a siren that goes off every Tuesday around 10, but it didn't go off today. Adam said that was probably because it would have caused widespread panic. Then again, people rarely hear it anyway.
Adam went through the list and how he wants to get away from Chicago, since he feels Chicago would be next. He said they'd attack New York first (which they did), and then a capitol building (Pentagon), which they did, and then Chicago, then North and South Carolina, and he just went through the list. He got me all fidgety and I kept pacing.
He said he had a dream the other night that there was a civil war between blacks and whites, and he was on top of the Empire State building and suddenly black people were scaling the walls like monkies... until a plane crashed into the side of the Empire State building and it blew up.
That's what freaked him out. It'd freak me out too.
It's funny, because my father and Adam had the same thought... find who did this, publicly kill them brutally, screw censorship. Mom goes "isn't it funny how their barbaric sides come out in times like these?"
It's nearly 1:15 now, so people are starting to make noise outside, which is reassuring in a way. I don't know HOW people are going to get home from downtown, considering they've evacuated so many buildings. I'm sure my father is going to have a *great* time picking up Mimi and making their way home. Ha!
Hm. Adam just called and I didn't know it was him. Mom kept talking to him, and then started preaching at him. Really, we're not afraid to die cause we know where we're going, whereas Adam doesn't know, or just think he's going to die and that's it. Nothing else. End of Adam.
He was saying, "Rachel. Get an atlas. Draw a line from where that one plane took off, and then crashed. It was heading STRAIGHT for Chicago." I was like "Adam. Please. Calm down." He goes "I don't believe you're calm. I believe you're freaking out inside."
Truly, I'm not. If I die, I die. If I don't, then I don't. If they come here and destroy Chicago, damn them all to hell and I hope they get theirs... but really. Otherwise I'm calm.
Adam kept saying to draw the line, and I said "What, just so I can show up on your doorstep sobbing that I'm going to die?" and he goes "You're not afraid to die." and I said "Exactly. Not going to happen."
My mother told Adam on the phone she likes him, and he apparently said "I don't think Milenko likes me" and mom goes "it's not YOU, he doesn't want his daughter growing up, that's all!" Hm, some reassurance for him, unless it totally just freaked him out more. We'll see.
And now for something completely different (as Monty Python would say):
Somehow we've ended up with call waiting! Mom has talked about strange beeps while she's been on the phone, and I said it was just her imagination. So B called the upstairs phone from Mimis, and then mom called our phone from my cell. Sure enough, beeps! I clicked over and there was mom. Hilarious!
She called to cancel the repeat dialing feature on our phone a week or two ago, and somehow we've ended up with call waiting. It's a mere $2 extra, I think it would be cool, but no. *hmph* She's canceling it. Such is life.
I don't know what else to say. It's 1:30 now... this is just unbelievable, the events of the day. I'm not worried about a depression. Adam's already hoarding water.
1:33, and I'm already back. There was a PLANE flying just now. B goes "don't worry, it's just military". Thank God, they were just 2 military helicopters.
So, after watching all of these news programs, I just love Peter Jennings and have taken to referring to him as "Peter". There's just something about his voice, I like his reporting. Him and Diane Sawyer.
It was so scary to see the streets of New York looking like some third world country. Scary indeed.

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